The Climb...

Depression is painful. It eats you up inside.

We're all on a journey. Sometimes we feel that we have "arrived." Millions of people live with chronic pain and all its daily repercussions. It takes a certain kind of courage to live this way and try to live a productive life. These people live with depression, pain, and isolation. I am attempting to explain how I allowed my life to descend into pain and pick up again and reclaim life. I share with you my story because in some way, there is a wide-range connection between all of us.

I was sad because I was invisible.
I was convinced that life is a constant series of disappointments.
I was sad because I was scared of everything.
I was sad because everything is an obstacle, and I cannot see it any other way.
I feel guilty because I have no 9-5 job to go to.
I walk with the constant pain of so much wasted potential, and the conviction that life and times were passing me by.
I was drowning in the past, and could not see anything of pleasure or success in the future.

Please copy and paste to your browser where I was:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8bIEOrTG3k

Eventually the darkness lifts and I return to my own special version of normal, forgetting for a time what it was like to spiral down until a Black Day, comes around again. Just when I feel that I'm making real progress in my life it happens again, and I can't remember or imagine ever feeling well. I decided that it might help to keep a written record of my "episodes," both to validate my experience in my own mind and perhaps offer patterns and clues that might help the next person. I thought that I would post these accounts; I’m thinking that releasing my experience into a blog-world might help dilute its power.

In all the stops and starts of life, one thing is certain: The choices we make along the way greatly affect the journey's outcome. And the most important choice we will ever make is about our relationship with God.


Next - STAYING ON THE PATH OF GROWTH…